


I Care Not Much for Her

by Alisterscravat



Category: Gentleman Jack (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst Button, Divorce, F/F, Libraries, Slow Burn, estranged family, flirtation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2020-03-08
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:00:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21684148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alisterscravat/pseuds/Alisterscravat
Summary: Anne's life is a disaster. She needs peace and quiet and finds solace in a sterile board room at the library. She's pleased to run into a very grown Miss Walker, who is not as amused with her as she used to be. What a fun game it will be.
Relationships: Anne Lister (1791-1840)/Ann Walker (1803-1854), Mariana Lawton/Anne Lister (1791-1840)
Comments: 73
Kudos: 198





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm baaack! If you read "Clumsy and Clever"- thank you!! I plan to make this much darker and waayyy less fluffy. Hope you enjoy.

The weather in Keswick didn’t bother Ann. She enjoyed the earthy scent as the rain hit the pavement and how the cool droplets felt as they melted on the back of her neck, exposed by the ponytail she had loosely pulled up before work. She tugged her forest green jacket tighter around her as she reached the doors of the library. The hinges of the carved wood creaked as she pulled them open and she happily inhaled the familiar smell of the books as she made her way to the front desk. 

She adored this place. It was a historic site and therefore carried a certain magnitude and grandiosity that she admired being a small part of. Etched columns flanked the entrance to the main room where she worked, and the library unfolded in wings, out from the center. The décor and carpeting was a bit outdated, but she was working hard to remedy that. The prior year, she had entirely funded a remodel of the front desk, and she was constantly on the hunt for new and rare volumes to purchase to be added to the collections.

She was desperate to breathe new life into the place. The library was set on the main road in town and drew a variety of visitors, some for book and others for the grade II listing. She knew it like the back of her hand and loved being able to keep tabs on how things were going with her estranged family from the local gossips. Rachel Hemingway was near the printer, adding more paper for a frustrated-looking old Mrs. Rawson, and her eyes widened in feigned happiness as they made eye contact.

“Hey, Ann! How are you?” Rachel blew her hair out of her face as she escaped the old woman’s muttering with a few quick steps. Ann set her things down in the small cubby she was allotted, holding back a laugh as the old woman banged the printer and it started working.

“Oh, please don’t hit the printer Mrs. Rawson! We’d appreciate that!” Ann called, turning back to Rachel and rolling her eyes. “Great, thanks. How was your shift?” 

She shrugged off her damp coat and hung it on the wall, rearranging her polka-dot button up and ensuring the sleeves were still tightly rolled at her elbows. She liked to keep up appearances and even if it was only the library, she knew everyone in the Lake District. Her family had roots going back centuries and she enjoyed all the friendly faces she saw during her shifts. 

“Eventful. Eliza Priestley was in this afternoon running her women’s book group in the Oak room. She kept it almost ten minutes after her allotted time and-” She lowered her voice. “Do you know Anne Lister?”

Ann nodded; she hadn’t heard that name in quite a long time. Rachel leaned in close, eyeing the hallway towards the meeting rooms.

“Well, she had reserved the room next and she started knocking over and over again when Eliza’s time was up.”

“Oh, dear. Eliza never ends on time. Aren’t they friends?” She waved hello to Mrs. Sowden who was walking by to return an armload of romance novels. She strained a glance at the topmost cover, a long lacy dress and cowgirl boots, and smirked. She loved seeing what other people were reading; it gave her a particular window into them that she might not otherwise get. 

“I’m not sure after today! I heard some stern talking and I could tell it was escalating so I rushed over. By that time, Eliza and her group were packing up and Anne had slammed the door shut.”

“Sounds like Anne Lister, alright. She’s always been abrasive,” Ann shrugged it off and pulled the book cart nearest to her closer. She used to catch Anne’s eye from time to time during church and once, after the death of her parents, the Lister’s had brought over dinner. Ann had been an obnoxious youth and had been completely shunned by Anne, while her sister Marian had been a delight. She remembered the visit with mixed emotions, recalling the hot tears of embarrassment on her face after they left. The families never kept up the acquaintance and Ann knew she would never impress Anne enough to be friends.

She was looking forward to the quiet shift ahead, despite Anne’s presence, filled with her favorite monotony. She picked up a returned copy of Wuthering Heights and began scanning and checking for damage in order for them to be re-shelved. 

“We’ve had to kick her out at the end of the night,” Rachel said as she pulled her coat off of her hook. “I swear she’s trying to get herself locked in! Problems at home? Well, anyway, I’m off. Don’t forget to check for her when you close up!” 

“Can’t wait,” She said, flatly. “Have a good night!” Ann waved as she left and turned an interested look to a little boy who was approaching her.

“Excuse me? Where are the shark books?” A small voice said below the desk. 

Ann smiled warmly at the boy’s mother, who was standing back a few feet with a baby wrapped up on her chest, smiling supportively. She put her arm on his back as she led him towards the children’s books.

“Right this way, sir! Now, which sharks are you most interested in because I have an entire shelf that I think you’re going to love…”

~~~

Anne Lister was surrounded by scattered books, scholarly articles, and her computer. She cracked her knuckles and slid her glasses off of her face, rubbing her eyes. She checked her watch as the seconds hand ticked to the twelve. 9 on the dot. She probably had another twenty minutes before the Hemingway girl found her and kicked her out, and she had no intention of leaving any earlier. She dragged out her journal and leaned over it, one hand reaching up into the back of her hair as she pressed her pen onto the fresh page. Her stomach flipped into an angry knot as she began recounting the morning’s events:

_M furious today. Stomping and slamming cupboard doors in an effort to wake me. I, pretending to be asleep, let her exhaust her efforts before grabbing my things and silently slipping out. The couch is no longer an option. It’s too tough for my back and leaves me sore hours later. I intend to let her take it out of the kindness of my heart when the assets are divided._

A firm knock jarred her from her thoughts and her pen slipped, leaving a dash instead of a period.

“What?” She hissed loudly, annoyed at the interruption. The door pushed open.

“We’re closed. You need to leave.” The blonde woman was stern as she leaned in, one hand on the doorknob. She was dressed smartly and had a firm look behind her familiar blue eyes. Anne narrowed her eyes as she took in the freckles that dotted her nose, and finally, her mouth.

“Ann… Walker.” She mused, leaning back in her chair and drinking her in. Little Miss Walker had grown up since she had last seen her. She was still terribly thin, but the same blush rose to her cheeks when Anne spoke. She remembered how those eyes would watch her whenever they passed each other at various events. The poor girl had always been thoroughly in love with her.

Ann nodded, a guarded look on her face. She crossed her arms over her chest but it seemed more protective than admonishing.

“I’d like to lock up and go home. Do you need help packing up?”

“No. How’s your Aunt?” Anne pushed her chair back and stood, closing the laptop and lifting her bag from the floor onto the table. Her eyes stayed on Ann’s the whole time. She seemed caught off guard by the personal question.

“Oh, um, she’s fine. Thanks. And how’s your Aunt?” Ann tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and watched intently as Anne slowly piled her things together in a neat stack. 

“She’s in good spirits but her health is poor. She stays home most days, but is still managing to make it to church every Sunday. I try to take her when I can. We see your family sometimes, but you’re never there?” Anne asked curiously as she zipped her bag closed and leaned a hand on the table. She had heard rumors that Ann was not on good terms with her family, but didn't know the specifics. Ann did not appear to be in a sharing mood.

“No. I’m not,” Ann smiled politely. “I’m usually here, working.”

“I didn’t know where you were, but I didn’t expect it’d be at the Keswick Library.” Anne cocked an eyebrow.

“Well, I am. And what are you doing here? I hear you’ve been kicked out every night all of a sudden, which means I have one more thing to do to close this place up,” Ann bristled as Anne pulled on her leather jacket and slung her bag over her shoulder, stepping closer.

“Apologies, Miss Walker. My research requires a quiet spot, so I plan to be a regular for a while. Does that mean Thursdays are your nights to close?” Ann leaned against the open door, and Anne smirked at the way the tendons in her delicate neck popped above the open collar of her shirt.

“I- yes. I just swapped shifts so I’ll be closing rather than opening most weekends.” She fidgeted with the ring on her pointer finger, redness rising on her freckled cheeks. 

“Well, that’s great. I guess we’ll see each other tomorrow, then.” Anne flashed her biggest smile and threw in a wink as she stepped past Ann, whose lips were parted in a stammering response. 

The lights were dimmed in the building and she quickly made her way to the front, humming with energy. Anne burst out the library doors and the rain slammed against her face, her spirits sinking as she began racking her brain. 

Where the hell was she was going to sleep?


	2. Chapter 2

Anne shook the packet of raw sugar and split it open, watching the granules as they swirled into the black coffee. Her head was throbbing and she felt out of sorts, leaning on the counter with one hand as the blur of the conversations in the café inundated her senses. She was still in her clothes from last night, and a smile tugged at her lips as she remembered pulling them off the dark, polished hardwood floors of _her_ bedroom this morning. She still couldn’t believe she had opened the door for her last night, a curious look burning in her eyes as she stepped back to allow Anne to enter.

“House coffee with room for Ann!” The barista shouted and Anne was pulled from her delicious thoughts, confusion written on her face until a familiar hand reached over for the coffee mug. Ann Walker, bundled up in a dark black coat, was trying to avoid her gaze. 

“Hi there stranger,” Anne smiled as Ann took her place beside her at the accoutrements station. Ann pretended not to hear over the din and poured a surprising amount of cream into her cup. She swirled it deliberately, looking straight at the wall, her lips pressed in a full line.

“Wow. Really? You’re not even going to say hello?” Anne put her hand on her chest. “That hurts, Ann.”

“You don’t have to pretend to be my friend,” Ann said tersely, picking up her cup and turning to find a bar seat by the window. She selected one flanked by occupied chairs, ensuring her solitude. Anne shook her head and raised her eyebrows, completely mystified by the entire interaction. She didn’t have any real idea why Ann would be so dismissive with her, but she didn’t have time to ask. 

She slung her backpack over her shoulder and put the lid back on her travel mug, taking a long swig before making her way out the door. Pulling her hood up, she purposefully looked through the rain-streaked window where she knew Ann was sitting. She waved a curt goodbye and chuckled to herself when Ann’s shocked blue eyes darted back to the phone in her hands. Her boot splashed down into a substantial puddle as she picked up speed and checked her watch. 9:30 am. Mariana should be at work and Anne really needed to pick up some new clothes, not to mention she felt chilled as the cool air hit her cheeks.

She was home in no time and unlocking the door, dumping her bag on the uncomfortable couch before taking the stairs two at a time. She had long ago moved her things into the guest bathroom and let out an audible sigh as she slid, naked, under the hot water. Her arms and shoulders were sore from holding herself up the night before and she welcomed the warm heat that eased the ache. She scrubbed the shampoo into her hair, massaging her scalp, feeling the buzz of her coffee tingle through her veins. Her thoughts pulled to her Professor, and she broke out in a wistful smile. The way she had wrapped her fingers into Anne’s hair as she had kissed the tendons at her thigh made Anne close her eyes and bite her lip as the last of the soap swirled down the drain. It was going to be excruciating to pretend that nothing had happened between them today while they made eye contact across the room.

She didn’t set out to fuck her professor. These things just seemed to happen for Anne, and she knew she possessed a sort of magnetism that couldn’t be explained. They had been flirting since Anne had started her program, and she had resolved to absolutely not let anything happen between them. She had wanted to keep things professional, especially while going through the divorce and working so hard on her dissertation. The last thing she needed right now was more women to fight with, but Professor Barlow had taken her under her wing. She was an older, confident, brilliant, sexy _straight_ woman. Not that that ever seemed to matter, she mused. Last night the line had finally been crossed and Anne couldn’t say she fully regretted it. Rather, she was in the mood for another round.

She was toweling off her hair when she heard the first moans. She stopped dead, her heartbeat thudding in her ears as she waited, hoping it was all in her head. She clenched her teeth and inhaled steadily through her nose as Mariana’s voice carried from the other side of their home.

“Ohhh….” 

Anne wrapped the towel around herself and opened the bathroom door. Mariana hadn’t bothered taking the photos of them down from this hallway, since it was where Anne was storing all of her boxes and things during the separation. The photo of Anne and Mariana, laughing and intertwined on their wedding day mocked her as her jaw clenched. Her wet feet left footprints as she slowly made her way to their bedroom, the double doors wide open. Her face twisted in disgust as she came upon Mariana face down on the edge of their bed, hands twisted in Anne’s favorite blue sheets. Charles was behind her, fucking her in big, hard thrusts, completely oblivious to Anne’s presence. He was sweating and covered in dark body hair, holding her hips and letting out disgusting grunts.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Anne finally spat, the anger that had been boiling low in her belly finally overflowed. The couple wrenched apart, Mariana’s eyes ablaze with a mix of shame and anger. Charles ran, naked, for the master bath where their clothes were collected on the floor. 

“Anne? What the fuck are you doing here? Get OUT!” Mariana screamed gutturally, pulling their comforter over her.

“Why would you bring him here? To our bed? At least I have the decency to fuck somewhere else.” Anne felt surreal and out of body, as if she was watching the scene unfold from above herself. She stood in her towel in the doorway, dripping water onto their floor, features twisted in pain.

“We’re getting a divorce. I can fuck wherever I want.” Mariana growled, as Charles slammed the door shut.

“Coward,” Anne spat at the bathroom door, narrowing her eyes at Mariana. She stood up and walked towards Anne, comforter dragging behind her. “He’s disgusting. You deserve better.”

“He’s a good man. And he fucks me so hard.” Mariana purred, eye to eye with Anne, eyes blazing.

“It won’t be hard for long. He’s ancient,” Anne managed a smirk through her anger. “Fuck you. Go to a goddamned motel.”

“I’m done with this Anne!” She shouted in her face. “ You need to get all your shit…and GO,” Mariana pressed her finger into Anne’s wet chest.

“Don’t,” Anne whispered, shaking as she clenched her fists. “Don’t ever touch me again.” 

She turned on her heel and stomped back towards the hallway, clenching as Mariana slammed the doors to the master shut with an angry yelp. She leaned against the cool wall and caught her breath before a calm washed over her. She looked at the smiling photo beside her head, ripped it off the wall, and shattered it on the ground at her feet.


	3. Chapter 3

Ann waved goodbye to her last “Oil Painting for Beginners” student, one of the Washington girls, and began folding down the easels she had set up around the library’s meeting room. She had been teaching for a few months and was happily regaining her confidence: speaking in front of an audience, commanding the room, and weaving her critiques in with compliments. The night before she had avoided Anne completely, but was surprised to find the oak room empty at closing; she had slipped out without needing to be kicked out. She felt a tinge of disappointment and regret at how she had acted in the coffee shop, but then bit her lip and tilted her chin up, her resolve renewed. She did not need Anne Lister in her life again, confusing things. If she never came in again, Ann’s life would be better for it.

Ann worked diligently to wipe the paint from each the bristles, the music she had put on for class softly lulling her thoughts away. She had enjoyed the positive response from everyone over the sunrise painting they had done, but she was looking forward to going out after work with her best friend Catherine. She felt like she was always in storefront mode, a bright smile, but no one _really_ caring to know how she truly was. Rachel Hemingway was nice enough, but it was different with Catherine. Deeper. They had been close since they were little and they always had a good time together. Sometimes a little too much fun, as Ann recalled her head hovering above the toilet after their last night out together. Someone had suggested tequila and it was all downhill from there.

A figure walked past the doorway and Ann looked up reflexively, puffing out her cheeks when the realization of who it was hit her.

“Are you going to play nice today?” The tall, slim woman leaned back into the doorway on her way to the oak room. Ann looked at the ceiling before shooting her a look. Anne gasped sarcastically, her brown eyes piercing right through Ann even as she laughed. She felt her skin start to tingle.

“What happened to sweet little Annie?” Anne said in a low voice, her lips drawn to one side in a half-frown. 

Ann rolled her eyes and laughed, continuing to clean the pile of brushes diligently.

“I grew up. And I learned to be picky about who I have in my life,” Ann raised her eyebrows and kept her eyes down, flipping the blotted cloth over to a clean side. She drew it along the bristles, careful not to bend any of the strands or pull too hard. Her heart thrummed a little faster as Anne stepped into the classroom, crossing one leg over her ankle and leaned against the wall. They were a good ten feet apart, but Ann felt a roar of growing electricity between them. Or maybe it was just her. She knew how Anne went through women, and she was _married_ in any case. Catherine had told her.

Anne was dressed head to toe in black. Tight fitting dark jeans tucked into tightly laced boots. Her black crew neck shirt fit tightly underneath her leather jacket, showing a glimpse of her incredibly fit physique. Her hair was shoulder length and fell in relaxed waves around her face and damn, she was a beautiful as Ann remembered. The lines around her mouth were chiseled and her dark eyes had always drawn her in. Ann swallowed as she studied the last brush very stoically. 

“I heard your family wasn’t very happy when you came out. I’m sorry. I can relate a little. If you ever want to talk or…actually get coffee or dinner sometime, I’d love to catch up,” Anne gestured into the air.

“Are you seriously asking me out? Have you forgotten you’re married? Nice, Anne. Glad to know you take your relationships so seriously,” Ann looked up, shaking her head at her in disbelief. Anne leaned her head against the wall and sighed quietly.

“I’m getting a divorce, actually. She cheated on me. With Charles Lawton? I’m surprised you haven’t heard around this place,” Anne murmured, sliding her hands into her jean pockets. 

“Oh, shit,” Ann set down the brush and rag, jaw slack in disbelief. “Anne, I’m so sorry to hear that. That’s horrible…”

“Yeah, it fucking sucks. I walked in on them in my bed yesterday, so my life is going really great,” Anne shrugged her shoulders and let her eyes stay on the floor between them.

“Fuck,” Ann breathed out.

“Yeah,” Anne agreed.

“Well, I…I’m not on good terms with my family. My aunt is wonderful, but she still has dreams that I’ll find the ‘right man’,” Ann made air quotes with her fingers. ”I just try not to bring up who I’m dating around her.”

“That’s probably for the best for now. So, who are you dating? Anyone I’d be familiar with?” Anne was back to her dapper self, her eyebrow lifting ever-so-slightly as she broke out into a small smile. Ann felt the tendons in her neck jump and she gripped the edge of the table in front of her. She struggled to think of an appropriate, witty response and her blush was rising.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m not dating right now,” Ann finally said, turning away to shut off the stereo in the corner and wrap up the cord. She placed it in on the table with the stack of easels and extra supplies. 

“I see. So why don’t you want to go out with me? Do you need some help?”

“Because. And no!” Ann gathered her original painting and as many supplies as she could in her arms. As she walked towards the door, and Anne, a few paintbrushes rolled onto the floor.

“I see.” Anne watched in amusement as the paintbrushes rolled to her feet. 

“I’ll come back for those,” Ann huffed, breezing past her and towards the office door where all the supplies were kept and book repairs were done. Before she could struggle with the door handle, Anne was there with an armful of supplies, the stereo, and a paintbrush between her teeth. She raised her eyebrows as she opened the door with her free hand and let Ann in. 

“You can’t be in here,” Ann looked at her and found herself fighting a smile as she sauntered in behind her anyway. Ann had straightened her face by the time she had put it all away on the shelf, turning to take the supplies from Anne. She was standing shockingly close and Ann felt a flurry of emotions rush over her as Anne pulled the paintbrush from her teeth. 

“Thank…you,” Ann said tentatively, giving her a side glance as she put the paintbrush with the rest. 

“See? I’m not so bad,” Anne grinned, shrugging nonchalantly. 

“I never said you were,” Ann shrugged back, studying the lines that were developing around Anne’s eyes. They were new to her, but made her look wiser. “Don’t you have a meeting room to get to?”

“Hm, you’re right. I’m just easily distracted by beautiful women,” Anne smirked and let her eyes drop to Ann’s lips. Ann rolled her eyes and wrestled to keep the smile off her face.

“I remember that about you,” Ann smirked. “Am I the only woman you haven’t had in this vicinity?”

“Ouch. Alright, alright.” Anne took a few steps back with her hands up in surrender. “I shall endeavor to be out of your hair before closing time so you don’t have to bother with me. Hope you have a wonderful night, Miss Walker.” 

“You too, Anne,” Ann called as she watched her walk out the door, already wishing she could see her again. The rest of her shift was agony and she couldn’t help but make excuses to walk by the row of meeting rooms. Every time she passed, Anne was bent over, writing furiously and Ann felt a growing longing to see her eyes again as she pushed a book into its spot on the shelf. She replayed their interaction over and over, turning it in her mind, but always came to the same conclusion. Anne Lister was nothing but trouble. Sure, they’d probably have a few great dates and maybe sleep together, but Anne would eventually grow tired of her.

Anne was true to her word and walked by silently before the end of the night with her headphones in and her head down. Ann felt bad for her now, curious about how she was doing after the cheating incident and where exactly she was headed. Ann was overcome with relief when she noticed Catherine pulling up right outside the front door as she locked up and set the alarm. She collapsed into the seat beside her.

“I need a drink. Or maybe three.”

“That kind of day, huh? Alright, tell me all about it when we get to the pub,” Catherine squeezed her leg encouragingly as they pulled out of the lot, red taillights fading as they drove deeper into the cozy little town.


	4. Chapter 4

Anne Lister couldn’t sleep. She stared, unblinking, at the red glow of the clock in the corner of the room. It read half past three in the morning and she couldn’t stop replaying the scene with Mariana and Charles over and over in her head. She rolled onto her back, one arm behind her head, and studied the ceiling, letting out a slow, deliberate breath. The body beside her was warm and the sheets were tangled at their waists, leaving delicate skin exposed above. She listened to the slow, rise and fall of Maria’s breathing and attempted to close her eyes. 

She knew sleeping at Professor Barlow’s wasn’t sustainable. She was having fun, absolutely, but at some point Anne was going to have to crawl home to her aunt. She was postponing the inevitable in the hope that she could come up with some sort of alternative, but all her current options looked bleak. Drowning in her dissertation for her PhD was certainly not a great jumping off point for relocating and rearranging her life. Somehow, she was still doing it all, attending her classes during the day, working as a TA for Professor Barlow, and cramming studying and research into the small window at the library every evening. If she could keep that part of her life functioning, then everything else would eventually fall into place. She had faith in herself to finish out this year of school, but she was legitimately concerned it might actually break her.

So a little indulgence wasn’t the worst path, was it? It kept her from obsessively wondering where and what her wife, soon to be ex, was up to at all hours. _Charles_. The two of them fucking on her own bed flashed in her mind and she flipped over, frustration and sadness creeping up as she attempted to shake the mental image. She pressed her body into Mrs. Barlow’s back, tracing the taut, delicate curve of her waist down to her hip bone. Her fingers curved perfectly over the edge and she pressed her nose to the back of her ear, inhaling the scent of her shampoo. Maria’s long hair curled between them and Anne enjoyed the prickly sensation of it on her skin as she pressed her lips onto the soft skin of her neck. She traced a few fingers down the smooth muscle of her thigh and Maria finally stirred, letting out a soft sigh as she pressed her hips backwards into the curve of Anne’s body.

Anne smiled as she moved from her thighs to her stomach, and she couldn’t help but feel encouraged as Maria continued to press into her and make soft “Mmm” noises as Anne’s fingers fluttered on the skin there.

“Are you trying for round 4?” Maria’s voice whispered in the still of the night. Anne grinned into her neck as the back of her thighs pressed onto the front of her own, back arching as Anne reached lower to find her just as ready and willing as earlier. She ran her tongue along the curve of her ear and felt a shudder from the woman. She kissed her slowly, delicately all over the back of her neck and shoulders as her fingers swirled between Maria’s legs. She was shuddering and crying out before Anne could even work up a sweat, which came as a bit of a disappointment for her. She wiped her fingers on the sheet and spun to face the wall, sighing deeply as a few snores rose from Professor Barlow. Anne was left staring at the clock again, aching for someone to talk to.

~~~

Rachel Hemingway rolled her eyes from behind Eliza Priestley’s back and Ann stifled a laugh. They were working the biannual blood drive that was stationed at the library and it was Eliza’s show to run. It always turned into a chaotic frenzy, with people pouring in wondering where to go and Eliza shouting at them all. Ann had been trying to calm her down about where the bus was parked for a solid half hour and she was finally getting somewhere.

“Why don’t you go inside and see if Catherine needs help with checking people in. Rachel and I can handle setting up the aftercare table and finish putting up the signs?” Eliza seemed agreeable to that and Rachel high-fived her when she finally disappeared inside with a huff.

“She’s insane!” Rachel whispered, under her breath, eyes wide. “You sent her in to freak out on Catherine? You’re such a great best friend.”

“She can handle her! Yes, Eliza is a bit…high strung, but she also donates a lot of her time and money here. So we play nice.” Ann admitted, working on setting up the folding tables and chairs. Rachel was unboxing the cookies and juice to set out as people finished up with their donations.

“Why do we give people juice and cookies after donating, anyway? Just a thank you?” Rachel questioned as she snuck a butter cookie into her mouth and crunched away.

“It helps you rehydrate after losing blood. A lot of people get lightheaded so the cookies and snacks help keep your blood sugar up. Hopefully we won’t have anyone pass out like last time, but it’s certainly not out of the realm of possibilities.” Ann checked the clock on the wall and readjusted the last chair. 15 minutes until the first official appointment. It was also the exact time Anne usually strode through the library door. She wished she didn’t know that as she stole a cookie herself before walking back inside the main hall.

She rounded the corner and noticed Anne through the window, dressed in her favorite all-black attire, stepping out of a small black car that was parked in the lot. She could see boxes piled high in the back and passenger seats, and jackets hanging neatly from the grab bars in the back. Was Anne living out of her car? She bit her lip and forced herself to keep walking to the check-in table after watching her walk towards the library for a few beats.

“I saw you looking at her,” Rachel raised an eyebrow at her.

“She’s an interesting person to look at,” Ann said nonchalantly as she caught up.

“Uh huh, right,” Rachel murmured, glancing up as Anne made her way into the main hall. “I’m going to go grab the rest of the drinks to set out.”

“Great, thanks,” She called after her, and then turned to the figure walking past. “Hi.”

Anne stopped and looked at her, a smile suddenly beaming on her face.

“You’re saying hi now? Well, this is a good day.” Ann didn’t fight the smile back at her.

“Hey, can we talk? In private?” Ann asked in a quiet voice, looking around.

“….Sure? Follow me to the oak room?” Anne looked at her curiously as they fell into step.

“So, how is your day going?” Ann asked slowly as they walked, suddenly regretting her plan.

“A lot better now,” Anne mused, her brown eyes twinkling as she looked over at her. Ann let out a short laugh as they reached the room. 

“I’m sure,” Ann smiled, and ducked her head. Anne swung the door open for her and waved her in.

“So, what’s going on?” Anne said as she set her backpack on the ground and turned to face Ann, who was shutting the door behind them. There was a beat of awkwardness while Ann looked at the ceiling and tried to stammer out the words, suddenly very aware of how Anne was looking at her. She felt a bit like prey as Anne took her in with her eyes and she suddenly felt self-conscious of her long, flowing dress that reached her ankles. She clasped her hands together nervously.

“I was wondering…do you have a place to stay? I noticed your car looks a little, um, full. I thought I might be able to help you out if you need somewhere…”

“….No. Thanks for your concern. Of course I have a place to stay. My car is just a mess,” Anne’s expression cooled immediately and she began unzipping her backpack and pulling out her things.

“It actually looked impeccably organized. I just thought I’d put it out there that if you need somewhere to go, I can help. If you’ll let me,” Ann offered, quietly.

“Well, then. Thanks but no thanks. I’m good,” Anne insisted, throwing her a glance as she nudged open her laptop and took a seat.

“What are you working on?” Ann asked, leaning over curiously, fighting the urge to press her further on her suspicions. 

“My dissertation. I should probably get started. I have a lot of work to do,” Anne said, looking at the door behind her. Ann felt a pang and was immediately back to being the little girl, ignored. 

“Well, if anything changes, you know where to find me. Sorry to bother you,” She murmured, excusing herself.

“Yep. Thanks,” Anne said flippantly after her as Ann clicked the door closed. As she walked away she put her fists over her eyes and sighed heavily, wishing she could take back the question. _She obviously doesn’t want you poking around_ she thought to herself.

“Ann! Oh, there you are! You have to come quick. Mr. Washington refused to eat a cookie and now he’s passed out on the floor! The nurse wants a cold rag,” Rachel clapped happily at finding her, pulling her along to see the small-town commotion.

“You need to get him up and out of here before he scares people away!” Eliza hissed as they rushed past and into the supply room. She shoved her thoughts of Anne down as she ran the cloth under water, determined to shut her out for good.


	5. Chapter 5

Ann was doing a really great job ignoring her. She found herself at least appearing extremely focused on the computer screen in front of her, curser blinking on an empty page as she watched Anne stride past with confidence as she arrived for the evening. Even from her periphery, she noticed Anne turn slightly to look back at her as she rounded the corner. Without warning, Ann’s stomach flipped hard and she felt herself gripping the edge of the counter to keep steady. 

It had been weeks of this: trying and failing to push down her deepening feelings. The roar of emotions she felt every time their eyes connected. She had made things awkward between them and still, there was a longing between the women that felt palpable even as they only murmured goodbyes at the end of the night. Ann wondered how Anne was holding up, and worried about where she was sleeping. She made excuses to pass by her meeting room all evening long, loving to watch Anne typing away studiously. Her lips parted, her brows furrowed in concentration as she composed her dissertation. She had seen her signature grin only a few times and Ann sensed things were not well. It felt reassuring to see her day after day, but their interactions were painfully, woefully fleeting each time.

Tonight would be different, she thought, exhaling forcefully and shaking Anne from her head for just a few more hours until closing. 

\---

Ann ran her fingertips along the bindings of the historical fiction section as she passed by and flicked the lights on the edge of the wall to the off position. The light from the foyer lit the room and long shadows collected in the corners; raindrops slipped down the grand windows that lined the room. She tucked the chairs in under the long tables and tugged the beaded pulley for the window shades until each window was firmly covered. 

Satisfied, she adjusted her shirt, closing her eyes to summon the courage to turn and walk toward the room where Anne worked diligently on her dissertation, night after night. She gathered her breath, her fingers finding reassurance of the smooth gold band poised on her index finger. Her feelings for Anne were reaching a fever pitch, and her heart thudded with the impending interaction. She stalled, running through the clever things she wished she had the courage to say, straightening a display of literary classics. Jane Eyre was being turned over in her hands when a sound caused her to jolt.

“Ann,” A firm voice said from behind her, causing her to spin around in surprise. Anne Lister stood two feet away, her brown eyes smoldering with something…different. She bit down on her lip, adjusting the work bag that was slung over her shoulders. She was dressed as she usually was, professionally, Ann could tell her slacks were probably a gray color, her fitted raincoat was buttoned impeccably up to her chin. 

“Oh! Anne, you scared me,” She laughed nervously and held her hand to her chest as she recovered, setting the book back on the shelf. Turning back, the light from the room beside them illuminated one side of Anne’s searching appearance.

“Sorry,” Anne apologized with a wave, taking a step closer. “I wanted to talk to you before we leave. About us.”

“Us?” Ann asked into the stillness of the room, her mouth suddenly feeling dry. 

“Can you feel it? This…energy between us?” Anne said, gesturing into the space between them. Ann felt herself begin to stammer, her eyes darting away nervously.

“I…yes,” She couldn’t stop herself as their eyes reconnected. Her words came out in a whisper: “Every night.” 

A small smile pulled at the corner of Anne’s mouth. “Every night?” She repeated in the same rhythm, playfully biting her lip. The words hung in the air and Ann felt a tingling sensation ripple down to her fingertips as the silence thickened.

“Are you going to kiss me now?” It came out in a brave hush. 

Anne’s leather workbag made a heavy sound as it hit the floor and in two quick steps, her arms were around her waist, soft lips pressing hungrily into Ann’s mouth. Ann felt her back press into the hard edges of the bookshelf; she found purchase in the collar of Anne’s raincoat, turning her head to deepen their first kiss. She felt Anne brace herself on the shelf behind her, knocking over a few of the display books as their bodies connected, electricity and need exploding between them. The books thudded to the ground, unnoticed, echoing within the stillness of of the room.

Being so close to Anne was intoxicating; the oaky smell of her mingled with the redolence of the surrounding volumes. Ann couldn’t catch her breath or gather her thoughts as their kiss deepened, Anne’s tongue dancing with her own as a strong hand moving to grip onto her side. A groan caught in her throat as Anne pulled away, nudging her head to the side and placing warm kisses down her neck. Her head fell back and mouth sagged open as Anne’s mouth worked magic, shivers running through her body. She held on reassuringly to Anne’s shoulders, eventually unable to stop the breathy sounds she was trying to gulp down. 

Anne’s tongue darted along the sharp curve of Ann’s clavicle, her own hands hurriedly clawing at the buttons on the coat she was wearing. It eventually was worked onto the floor, Ann forcing the last of it from Anne’s arms. Ann’s fingers found the edges of her short hair, urging her back up for a lingering kiss, their bodies pulling together like magnets. She cupped Anne’s chin as their kissing slowed, languid despite their eagerness. Anne’s hands explored her, finally discovering the swell of her chest and the curve of her waist with an approving groan.

Ann’s hands smoothed up her firm arms, eventually landing on the the collar of her work shirt, fingers deftly working away at each button. Anne’s ragged breathing turned into a low hum of approval as the layers separated, revealing the simple dark bra she wore underneath. Ann ran her tongue slowly along the edge of Anne’s bottom lip right before Anne lost all control with a frustrated groan. She gathered Ann up from the thighs, carrying her three feet to the edge of one of the library’s smooth long tables arranged in the middle of the room.

Ann pressed hard into Anne’s mouth as soon as she was firmly on the table, both women pulling at Ann’s shirt until it was successfully yanked off and discarded to the floor. She felt her back press into the table as Anne climbed over her, urging them further from the edge. Ann dug her fingers into thick strands of Anne’s hair as they fell into her face, tickling at her chin as they moved together slowly, in an aching cadence. The light from the foyer created a soft glow: an air of privacy, with the ability to see just enough of their bodies as they revealed them. Pausing, Anne’s deep eyes searched for consent until Ann, chest heaving, gave a nod and pulled their bodies back together. The kiss changed in tenor: discovery evolved into a needy throb of hot breaths and hips grinding, urgently moving against one another. 

The fabric of Anne’s slacks bunched under Ann’s hands as she helped worked them off and onto the floor, immediately working with the button on Ann’s jeans, helping her to shimmy out with a breathy laugh. Ann shuddered as Anne’s eyes drank her in as she came back up, kissing from the soft skin of her stomach back to her parted lips, a mumbled “Mmph” as they met greedily. Anne’s hand drifted downward, moving the thin fabric until she found what she was searching for. Ann breathed heavily into her ear as Anne began swirling unknown patterns between her legs in a steadfast pursuit.

Ann’s legs fell apart as Anne’s knee nudged her wider, hand gripping the smooth flat edge of the table, while another found the top of Anne’s head as she broke away and left haunting kisses down her body. Pressing firm kisses onto the tops of her thighs, Anne’s fingers paused and pulled gently at the fabric between her legs. She toyed, easing them down inch by inch while Ann looked on with yearning.

A soft, breathy moan escaped from Ann’s mouth as Anne’s tongue teased at the skin of her thighs. The anticipation welled up inside her with each tantalizing swipe of Anne’s tongue, moving nearer to her. She gripped tighter into her hair and sighed approvingly as Anne found her clit, lost and delirious as the heat built up between her legs. Anne’s hand curved around the smooth swell of her breast, cupping it as she hummed happily against her center. Anne’s hands gripped around her thighs as she locked on, licking and sucking and teasing until Ann was heaving and her fingers were white from holding onto the table. Ann momentarily flashed to the image of them sprawled in the middle of the empty library, curving into her as the realty of it thundered over her. 

As Ann’s moans became increasingly urgent, Anne slid her fingers into her, crashing into with deliberate abandon. Her tongue had found the perfect cadence, moving in unison with her fingers until Ann crested like a wave, the combination of sensations sending a cascading heat through her body that made it impossible for her to lie still. She arched and shuddered against Anne’s mouth, her body throbbing and letting out gasping breaths as Anne’s pace slowed and eventually stopped. 

Anne slowly eased back up Ann’s body, wrapping her in a warm, tight embrace. Ann interlocked their bare legs and breathed intentionally, her heartbeat still thrumming in her ears. The ache was eased momentarily and her body relaxed, finally tilting her chin to look into Anne’s eyes.

“That was…” Ann searched for the words, murmuring.

“…Incredible.”


End file.
